The Roster (Who's Leading Off?)

Many hopeful tourists will touch down at Las Vegas' McCarran International Airport during the 16-hour window from 8 p.m. on Thursday, March 25 until noon on Friday, March 26.

But only eight of these people will matter.

Maybe that number will balloon to double digits. But we can count on eight. They're booked. No turning back now.

The Mike Forde Bachelor Party is set.

Two sports, from what Google tells me, features eight starters -- polo and curling. (two teams, four players each).

I know zero about polo. And, somehow, 29 hours of curling viewing during the recent Winter Olympics led to more confusion than education.

Then it hit me. There is one sport where a single team has an eight-man starting lineup -- National League Baseball (like co-ed softball, the ridiculous pitcher's No. 9 spot might as well be taken by some broad who dates the short stop).

Perfect.

Since this is a sport-crazed group, and I'm a sports-crazed person (before I bought my first suit a couple years ago, the most I ever paid for piece of clothing was an authentic Eli Manning jersey), the eight-man bachelor party must be broken down into a eight-man starting lineup (unfortunately, it was too late to have each bachelor party member plastic-casted in a batting stance, sliding stance or catching stance pose like the Starting Lineup action figures of our youth...man that would've been sweet).

Each day, I'll announce the next spot in the batting order. Maybe I'll do two a day. Or maybe I'll skip a day (more likely). Depends how quickly I lose interest, or how much I amuse myself. (Note: I'll also have alternates beyond the starting eight...gents who might be last-minute additions to the mayhem.)

Leading off...


Aidan Fogarty

Height: 5'9
Weight: 160
Hometown: Dublin, Ireland
Drafted: 1st round, Scruffy Duffy's.
Scout's Take (How Forde Knows Him): If I've learned anything from movies and television, it's that every Irish kid who grows up in Queens must have a bartender who doubles as a good friend. Aidan's that guy for me. It started at Scruffy Duffy's, when Aiden would have a Coors Light immediately cracked (craic-ed?) as soon as I walked through the now defunct bar's double doors. Now, Aidan's a true friend -- one who I don't get to see nearly as much as I'd like. Every trip to New York MUST include a stop at his own bar, Hibernia. And now, instead of Coors Light, Aidan greets me with a middle finger. And if you know anything about male bonding, such ball busting is a sign of true friendship.

Strengths: Aidan was an easy choice as leadoff hitter. I've seen him haul ass behind the bar far too many times to ignore his base stealing potential. His speed at hurling suds is uncanny, and he is a threat to swipe any bag, any time...Also tremendous at taking pitches. And by pitches, I mean girls. Picky almost to a fault, this charismatic barman has women melt within three seconds of hearing his Irish brogue. Yet, he doesn't pounce at every pitch he sees. Impressive patience....Though not known for his Ruthian power, is known for his Ruthian liver. Has a well-deserved reputation for playing well hungover...His faux-hawk adds an aerodynamic dimension.

Weaknesses: Like Willie Mays Hayes in the movie Major League, who nailed a pair of batting gloves to his apartment wall for every base he stole, Aidan wears rubber bands around his wrist for every pair of legs he's nailed against his apartment wall. By Sunday in Vegas, those rubber bands may weigh Aidan down, thereby killing any base stealing potential he usually has.


Stay tuned for tomorrow, when I'll announced who's in the two hole.